Conversations with myself: Running for number 1

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I think we need to admit that at least 90% of us are running for number 1. What is interesting is that everybody has a different definition for what is “number 1 position”.
For some can be an admired career, for others the perfect family. For some can be to save the world while for others to be in the middle of the attention. For some to be loved by everybody while for others to be the smart ones admired and envied from distance. So many combinations.
At the end, we all run for the same thing..to be the best, the most special. I started to think a lot about this need of being special because I felt it in myself and then I tried to look to others and see if they are having also, if they are having less or not at all. And I realized we all have, only we all have it a in a different suit. It’s interesting to see how we are usually depressed, sad or just in a waiting mood when we are far from this number one. When are close, we start to sparkle, to be more happy or more peaceful.
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Everything sounds very ok until now, right? What is bothering me, then?
That this running for being special is leading me, that I am not controlling it. And that I don’t realise where I created this need. Is this what I really want? Is this what really makes me happy? I know I am more happy when I am close to being special, to my number ideal, but is it a real happiness or something coming from my deepest selfishness and need of competition?
And last thing but very important I don’t like to this need of being special: by being the best, this means I have to see there are others under me. I build a happiness considering myself better than others. Doesn’t matter what is the reason I am better. Can be that I am smart while others are so stupid, can be that I am more successful in life while others are so bad in managing their own lives and practically didn’t succeed to do anything. Can be that I am more beautiful and stylish while others are so common and with such a bad taste. Can be that I am so not running for career or high positions in life while others are wasting themselves and forgetting the real meaning of life. Can be that I am so responsible with my life while others are not capable. Can be I am mature and on top of the others while the ones under me are so ignorant and lost. Can be that I worked so much all my life while others are receiving for free. Can be I have such a  full life, with family and friends while others were not capable to appreciate the real things in life like myself. Can be that I eat so healthy and take care of my body and health while the others are so ignorant and not careful. Can be I am not stressed with what I eat and how I look while others are so superficial to pay so much attention to such a shallow activity. Can be so many…
Can be that I am blue and beautiful, while others are grey and ugly…
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  • Try to think to your goal in life, for sure all we have a goal, otherwise what do we do…just live? 🙂 And think how do you see the others. How do you position yourself? More special? Number one and the rest under you? From various reasons, of course. We don’t need all to think we are the smartest and the rest are stupid, even there are plenty of models who thinks that We can all find some reasons to be better than others. But it’s enough to consider yourself better than one other person to know you are not following your heart but a mind competition.

tumblr_medurcCVgF1rnwku1o1_1280_largeFor some of us, this competition is not an ugly one, can be so smooth that you don’t even realise you are in one. For others can be a very frustrated path, with a lot of ups and down.

  • Get out of the competition and find your path! Your path cannot be to be better than others because fist of all it’s impossible. You will always find others on top of you. Always. Others more beautiful, more successful, with more money, more friends, more loved, more artistic, more talented, more serious, more blue. And you will need to run for more.
  • Second, we all are different. There is no white and black, or even grey. There are millions and millions of colors and shades. I know we all agree on this, but do we really apply in our life? Easy to say, hard to apply and feel.
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We like to say how we appreciate the difference between ourselves but when we see a 20 years blonde sexy women hanging with a 60 old rich man we consider her so underneath us. Why? Maybe it’s her way of being special, of being number 1. In her eyes, she is the number 1. And she considers you 10 feet under her. You, the so smart corporatist who works for 1000 euros per month, with those outdated clothes, that boring life and boring ugly girlfriend home.
  • Make an exercise to understand from where you created your goal. Family, friends, society, school, colleagues, work, lovers, movies, books, neighbors. When did you decide to judge what is black and what is white, what is better and what is less? This can help you think that maybe in your running for number 1 you forgot to really find out what you really need. Having something planned from so many years ago made you forget you can replan, you can reprogram. You can still discover things about yourself.
And why is so difficult to do this? Because it’s the most difficult giving up to being special. What do you have than? What do you live for?
Have the courage to find out!
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2 thoughts on “Conversations with myself: Running for number 1

  1. Pingback: Conversations with myself: The naked truth | melangemix

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